Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign welcome to the Bottom Line Me podcast. I'm your host, Ann Allard. Today we have a really special episode focus on a topic that I believe is incredibly relevant to all of us and that is resilience.
In the often stressful world of real estate, where deals can fall through at the last minute and market conditions can change overnight, resilience isn't just a nice to have, it's a must have. My guest today is Dionne Joseph, National Commercial Underwriting Council here at Old Republic Title. Dion believes that resilience is a cornerstone skill in her role at Old Republic Title, and she's here to share some insights on how resilience can help us stay focused and productive and how developing this skill will improve our overall well being.
Dion, welcome and thank you so much for joining me today. I'm so looking forward to having this conversation with you.
[00:01:14] Speaker B: Thank you Anne.
[00:01:16] Speaker A: Great. Well, before we dive into our topic, could you take a couple of minutes and tell our audience a little bit about yourself?
[00:01:24] Speaker B: My family moved to the Bronx, New York when I was nine years old from the Caribbean country of Trinidad and Tobago. And I'd like to take a moment to just do a quick shout out to developers, appraisers, bankers and real estate professionals in the Caribbean.
Thank you. My parents raised two hard working daughters who are kind to others.
[00:01:55] Speaker A: Awesome. Well, I know that just from my relationship with you over the last few years. So again, thanks so much for being here and sharing that with us. So let's start by talking about what resilience really is. Many people believe that you're either born with it or you're not. So let's start with sharing, having you share some thoughts on just that.
[00:02:22] Speaker B: Well, resilience is in all humans. It's part of our DNA. Humanity would not have survived for 300,000 years through extreme environmental conditions like ice age, famine, and also war. As a metaphor, resilience is a tree in the wind. It bends, adapting to where the wind is blowing. As a person, it relates to adapting or coming to terms with an experience, even a traumatic one. As children, we were scared of new experiences like the first day of school. But through repetition, we come to terms with the experience.
Now, I would like to take a pause here and make a distinction regarding severe trauma. Severe trauma are life experiences that impact your core and it relates to violence or abuse. You can't adapt. Like my other example, you may need to reach out to your network like parents, close friends, or a mental health professional. Absent severe trauma, one can adapt or pivot very quickly based on past experience or the development of their skill sets.
[00:03:49] Speaker A: Interesting, interesting.
That's. That's worth giving some thought to. Thank you very much for sharing that.
I think there are a lot of common myths, but here's another one that's probably a myth, and that is that resilience means that you just never give up. What do you say to that?
[00:04:12] Speaker B: Well, resilient people often have a toolkit of skills like continuous learning, listening, leadership, organizational and communication skills they have developed and honed over time. They lean into those to keep moving forward. It may seem like they never give up, but they can envision the finish line and so know what needs to be done because of their skill set. I often think of Stephen Covey's book, the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.
One of the seven habits is to begin with the end in mind. So let's do an example here. I've reviewed the Commitment and I notice there's a riparian rights issue or there's an old mortgage that should have been released 10 years ago that's clouding the title. I focus my initial energy on what may cause the deal to go sideways later. Resilient people look at the problem or the issue as the opportunity. So what's my opportunity or added value to that customer? I fixed it before it became an issue and I get thanked before the end of the deal.
Now, will they remember that? I hope so, but it does make a difference. Now, what I love about this idea is that everyone can choose to hone their skills of continuous learning, listening, leadership, organization, and of course, communication to become more resilient.
[00:05:56] Speaker A: Well, here's. Here's one more, and I think it's a big one.
What do you say to resilient people? Don't feel emotions that they're just kind of going through the steps or they're not really emotional about what it is that they're about to do. Any thoughts on that?
[00:06:16] Speaker B: Emotions are a soft skill, like critical thinking, problem solving, relationship building, and resilience. In business, we call it emotional intelligence or the emotional quotient. Persistence, self reflection, self awareness are all needed for resilience, and those are EQ skills. Now, I just finished Colleen Stanley's book Emotional Intelligence for Sales Success for the Central Division ORT Sales Rally. And I love this quote from the book. IQ will get you to the corporate door. EQ will take you up the corporate ladder. EQ is the ability to understand what others need to handle stress and to basically be the person that others like to hang out with.
Resilient people have learned to control their parasympathetic system. Now that's a brain function by using the five breath method, for example. So you bring in a breath hold for two, let out for seven. And this keeps their mind free from anger and fear, which are the two most destructive emotions in leadership as they put your brain into fight or flight, preventing access to higher brain functions of creativity, innovation, collaboration and connection.
[00:07:56] Speaker A: I've got, I've got to get a copy of that book. That sounds incredible because I think it's, it's applicable whether you're a salesperson or you're in another role in any industry, frankly. So.
[00:08:06] Speaker B: Well, I say everything is sales.
Everything is sales. You're selling your brand when you go on an interview. Everything, sales.
[00:08:16] Speaker A: Interesting.
So let's talk a little bit about our profession. Why do you think resilience is particularly important for anyone that's in our industry?
[00:08:29] Speaker B: The title business, with its quick turn times, intelligent customers who require detailed answers and the volume of deals is very stressful in our personal lives. Many have written about the sandwich generation, those professionals taking care of aging parents and adult children who still live at home. Perhaps you have had a cancer diagnosis like I did. I'm cancer free. Please. No worries here. But I share this because you may be wondering, your listeners, why do I care about resilience at all?
I did not let that cancer diagnosis derail me my desire to continue working on my national title professional designation from the American Land Title Association. Heck, at the time I was president of the Ohio Land Title Association. And about my surgery time, I was to pass the torch to our new president.
And I, I gotta tell you, I only told one person that I had had breast cancer surgery five days before just in case I fainted or something dramatic happened. But I'll tell you this, I didn't want it to be about the illness. I wanted to. Wanted that event to be about the new president and the new key leaders to the association. And you know what? Nothing happened and it was about them. And that's what mattered to me because my cancer experience taught me that it's about helping others and being kind in the world. And I don't know who said it, but in my inspirational calendar flip, it said, be kind for everyone you meet is fighting in battle you know nothing about. Yeah, all of this backstory, Ann, is to say it's in the valleys is where resilience matters.
That was a point made to me by Curtis Huffman, who is ORT leader for the central division where he graciously shared what he thought about resilience to me and I'm paraphrasing here but it he says it was during the low times that he learned the most about himself, self and self reflection. And I absolutely agree with him specifically about his comment on humility. He said humility goes a long way in acceptance. Right? You've got to accept self reflect and then move forward.
Either way you become a better leader, spouse, parent, human when you surrender to those valleys and learn the life lessons. My faith is part of my resilience strategy. It is my compass. I think what I would ask your listeners is what is their compass for resilience?
[00:11:51] Speaker A: So many things that you just shared. I'd love to unpack a little bit more but you know, you talk about self reflection, having a compass, things like that. What are some practical strategies or habits that you've adopted to help you to build resilience?
[00:12:09] Speaker B: Well, of course the breath technique. So I don't feel overwhelmed. And of course and that overwhelm can be. You start the day fantastic in two emails in you're now doing the breath techniques, right? That's just the way the world works. You know, you just take it in your stride. But take some time. And I do this in the morning. For me it's my daily devotion and then reading the Bible to just self reflect. And then I think about how am I going to present in the world today and to my team today? So am I going to be a resource, a spirit of gratitude, a joyful laugh, a comforter, a listener? What am I needed to be in the world today to help another person? And that person may be my customer. Of course exercise is important. I have two bad knees. But a I walk my dog. I try to go to the gym on the weekend and hit the Nautilus machines.
And of course you're saying to me but Dion, I don't even have that. I've got the toddler, I've got those teenagers. I'm trying to get out the do. Look, I'm going to be honest with you. Maybe it's just the 20 minutes in the shower, okay? Just make that self reflective 20 minutes possible.
I also continually am educating myself on leadership, emotional intelligence, financial literacy and staying relevant with technology are other parts of a resilience strategy. And there are some really smart people out there. And you know we've talked about this writing books and they have strategies that you can lean into for different solutions. The library is free. That's a resource I personally use.
You know really procrastination is not an excuse that's all I'm going to say there.
I hope I'm not too hard on your listeners.
[00:14:16] Speaker A: No, no, no.
I think so much of what you're sharing with us are things that we've all heard or sometimes even tried to adopt. But then the world, you know, the whirlwind, as I like to call it, takes over and we forget to breathe. And I think there's no question that developing some of these strategies that can help you to remember, the things that will really help you to stay calm and focused and be resilient are really, I think, worth repeating over and over again. You know, while we're on that subject, I think, you know, so much of what you're sharing is a. Is a great way to help reduce stress. And by reducing our stress level, our resilience probably automatically increases. So what are some of the things that you like to do to help reduce stress in your daily life?
[00:15:15] Speaker B: Well, you know, I believe I've talked about the day to day, but I think what your question's getting at is what do you do with prolonged periods of stress or uncertainty?
[00:15:24] Speaker A: Exactly.
[00:15:28] Speaker B: I know lots of people who. The industry, that's all of their friends, all of the things they do are in the industry. I don't. I'm in a little Christian band. We play in nursing homes and we raise money for non profits. I mean the handball choir at church. Hey, don't call me Thursday at 5. I'm in the car trying to get to that. You know, it's the one compromise I make with my customers. I'll call them at eight at night though, you know, but you're. I've got to carve that out. And remember, resilience means carving out some time for you and, and doing the self reflection.
I know we're going to say that. Hey, Dion, you've got tons of time.
I don't. I just don't watch that much tv. Okay. And I have a network of people. Either my family, which I'm really close to, or my faith community that I know has my back, that is the strength. And when you reach out to another and you share your vulnerability, which, and you know, sharing a vulnerability takes real courage. If you're courageous enough to do that, you're going to see some relief. And you're not carrying that burden by yourself. Right. When it's too prolonged, then seeking mental health professional is a great strategy. Finally, I'm aware that some of you may say, but Dion, I'm doing all those things and you brought this up. I'm meditating, I'm exercising, but life is still kicking my butt.
Honestly, it kicks my butt too. Right.
But what do I have to say about that is I always think of George Leonard's book, the Keys to Success and Long Term Fulfillment. Leonard says you have to work at each skill. And most times we're in the plateau. You're doing the skill and you don't feel you're getting anywhere. But then that moment happens and you have a breakthrough.
Any musician, singer, athlete knows what I'm talking about. You're working on a skill, trying to master your instrument, the song, your sport. And Leonard goes on to say that true mastery is knowing that you'll never get to the end because the skills are about refining who you are. It's the journey, the life journey.
[00:18:16] Speaker A: Incredible. Incredible.
Great.
Now I have another book I want to read.
[00:18:25] Speaker B: Oh, I tell you, that book, he does a keto and, you know, so people in sports, you're going to really just lean into that book really well.
[00:18:37] Speaker A: That and I think, you know, you talked a little bit about music. And to me, music is one of those things that often either lifts me up or calms me down. So I think that that's a great thing to keep in mind when we feel like we're a little stressed out and we need to be a little more resilient with whatever it is that we're faced with. So anything else you want to share with us before we get to our bottom line?
[00:19:05] Speaker B: Oh, sure. So we've talked about the individual. Let's talk about how do we create a resilient mindset for a team. And for that I'm going to draw on for leaders, our leaders. Patrick Lencioni's the Five Dysfunctions of a Team.
Great read. It starts as fiction. You're just like taken into the story or you're like, I don't have time for fiction. Dion then just go to last chapter. He puts out his model right there. So the he says, in creating a truly cohesive team, you need five things. Trust one another, respectfully engage in the unfiltered conflict of ideas.
Commit to decisions and plans of actions.
Hold one another accountable for delivering against those plans, and focus on the achievement of the collective result.
Transparency, honesty, listening are needed. And some of my favorite leaders are those who allow me to see their vulnerabilities. I work harder for them. The sharing of experiences helps the entire team.
[00:20:28] Speaker A: That is, I think, a great bottom line.
It's. There's no that. I've read that book a few times. I think there's. It's one of those books you can go back to over and over again and always pull a little nugget out of. But Dion, this was a great conversation. Thank you so much for sharing sharing your story. I'm so happy that you're healthy and well, as I'm sure our audience is. And I just want to thank you for spending some time with me today in sharing all of this with our audience and to our audience. Until we meet again, we hope you'll all continue to learn, grow and prosper, and be resilient. Thank you.
